A friend I haven’t seen a long time told me she was divorced for a few years. The reason? Disagreement over things – habits, finances, life goals. It is a product of getting older, I just haven’t hit that stage yet. Most of her friends and neighbours have gone through that “transition” already. You know, “It is a lot easier to raise kids as a single parent”.
There is certainly truth to that argument, and I am not close enough to comment on the specifics. The sad irony is that the diverse values and conflicts are exactly what will help everyone grow.
What is best for the kids?
Another friend has been having issues with a business partner. It started with differences in opinions, later turned into accountability and recently a heavy dose of defensiveness. Disagreement is a fact of life, especially in business, the difference is how it is handled. We agree to disagree, respect each other for our conviction, make a decision and move on. Focus on the matter and not take it personally. This is how we learn and grow.
In this case, the one with more experience has kept an open mind and handled it objectively, while the other has taken it more personally. The startup has lots of potentials but the dynamic is hurting its chance to succeed. Unfortunately the business was set up with equal ownership so there is no simple or painless way to formalize the decision “hierarchy”. They remain committed and continue to add value, so separation is not in the cards, fortunately but it will take some role re-discovery to get past the growing pain.
What is best for the business?
It’s easy for me to say it, but a successful partnership cannot be taken for granted. Shared values and goals, compatible characters, and most importantly willingness to work on issues together are all necessary but insufficient ingredients. The relationship will also evolve over time and we have to periodically adjust as well.
To go fast, go alone. To go far, go together. – African proverb
I vividly remember a common norm shared by several successful teams I was on. When one discovered an issue, we would collect some quick facts and options then take it to the team. Usually, we would arrive at a simple, effective game plan to tackle (maybe not resolve) the challenge, together. That trust and dynamic certainly did not happen overnight, but it made a big difference in our ability to collaborate and respond quickly. (perhaps thanks to all the “fire-fighting” training as well)
